From South Ken to Shoreditch, from Jermyn Street to Mare Street – these days anyone that’s anyone is wearing red trousers.

If you want your leg-coverings to let the world know that you’ve got a few quid and don’t care who knows it, or that you have some big ideas about what’s on at the ICA right now - or simply that you are completely insane (but in a mainly non-stabby way) - then you’d better get your wife or girlfriend to take those jeans and chinos down to the charity shop post-haste!

Because there’s only one type of trousers you’ll be wanting to wear, and that’s RED TROUSERS. In fact - if you can’t wear red trousers you’d be better off wearing NO TROUSERS AT ALL. That’s what I say.

Thursday 1 August 2013

YouGov poll

Today's Telegraph publishes the results of a YouGov poll on red trousers here

And the Guardian's response is here (written by soi-disant "English Socialite" Henry Conway). 

I haven't updated the blog for six months - mainly through good old-fashioned laziness, but perhaps also because I see fewer RTs on the streets these days. Perhaps it has had an effect... 

But if the price of freedom (from red trousers) is eternal vigilance, I really ought to keep posting. I'll have a trawl through the inbox in the next few days. 

Thanks again for all submissions, and apologies to anyone whose repeated pleas to remove the drunkenly submitted photo of their brother-in-law have so far gone unread. 

Friday 30 November 2012

Zero Tolerance

In Canada, where this photo was taken, the police come down hard on socially divisive leg wear.

We wouldn't want it to get disproportionate of course, but something along these lines on the Kings Road from time to time might not be a bad idea...


This could be a print advert from the '70s - in the days when The Ultimate Man was fifty years old, borderline alcoholic, and didn't smile unnecessarily.

A bloke from Hull who's in a band

Fish in a barrel perhaps, but hey. Not a million miles away from this guy.

In case you were wondering what sort of music a man dressed like this might produce, see here.

Spotted a four-leafed clover?

...or possibly about to vomit.

Geneva Airport

Combining RTs with a red tank top and a two-tone shirt (the "charlatan shirt" as I believe it's sometimes called) is definitely a first for LAMFRT.

He's obviously foreign, but I think it still counts.

[removed on legal advice]

Thank you to Milla for this one. Brave girl.

Tuesday 20 November 2012

Great Dixter gardens, East Sussex

Many thanks to Mike for this one, who snapped this gentleman farmer shouting into his mobile phone.

Newbury races

The guy on the left looks a lot like Steve. They get about these fellows, don't they? 

Royal Cinque Ports Halford Hewitt Cup

Golf. What's wrong with just being called Nigel and driving a Ford Mondeo like every other golfer in England?

Thom Yorke

RAC races

Forget Oxford and Cambridge, or anywhere else for that matter: students of the Royal Agricultural College seem to be the ruddiest trousered collection of people in the country by a mile.


The matching bag earns him a "lunatic" tag...

Monday 12 November 2012

C'nt Garden

You don't have to be posh to do the blue/red thing it seems.

Full marks to the sender, Tim, for bravery here.

Hipsters on the beach

Stop me if you've heard it...

Q: Why did the hipster burn himself on his pizza?

A: He ate it before it was cool.

There ain't no party like a South Ken party!

That looks a lot like a bottle of fizz and TWO pipes of Pringles to me.

And I don't think those are his everyday trousers. Oh no. I think those are his PARTAAY TROUSAAZ!

More churchwear

Another old-school posho with a good-looking wife at his child's Christening. (See here for the other one.)

Caught red-handed

Many thanks to Leigh for this one. Apparently getting his mate to stand in the shot wasn't an entirely successful ruse. Said the red-trousered man on finishing his call (who we can only assume has grown six inches since he bought this pair) "I hope you got a good one, you cunt!" Good enough matey, good enough.

Saturday 10 November 2012

Thank you again!

Many thanks for your photos and comments. Sorry if you've not had a reply. I've been AWOL again briefly, but LAMFRT is now back with a vengeance!

Particular apologies to anyone who over the last couple of months has sent in one of those emails along the lines of, "My mate/girlfriend/daughter sent in a picture of me looking like a first-class tosser, and while I can just about see the funny side (no really, ahahahaha) please please please please please take it down". I haven't read your message yet, but I will do very soon. (I'll probably ignore it obviously, but still).

Also, if you find yourself chasing your quarry around a shopping centre or similar and the pictures keep coming out blurry, a video might be worth a try...

Wedding gatecrasher

Now we've had RTs at a wedding before of course (see here), but I'm told this bloke was definitely not invited. Judging by his trousers (and, let's be honest, facial hair) I'm prepared to believe it.

More youngsters

She: "How was your journey down?"

He: "It was atchy rally rally boring."

RT Youth, at a point to point meeting

"I'm terribly sorry...

...but would you mind if I had a quick slash all over your legs?"

More beachwear


According to its website, this Pall Mall fly-fishing shop has been "supplying the country connoisseur since 1840" (or rather, "Supplying the Country Connoisseur Since 1840  "). It looks like the man in the green jumper has been refused admission and is threatening to stand there all day being annoying.

Red trousers, blue car

This is a bit of a Full Monty - you can just make out a fat cigar clamped between his teeth...

When in Rome...

 not ride a segway while wearing red trousers. You  will look doubly ridiculous.

Sunday 19 August 2012

Drinking trousers

Thank you to Simon H for this one. I haven't been told precisely what happened next, but I think we can make an educated guess.

Sir George Young Bt MP

Boycie from Only Fools and Horses!

Many thanks to Mary for this one - who assures me this really is the actor John Challis. (A quick google image search confirms this.)

Bristol Chopper

Amsterdam cravat man

The book is Spaanse Vrouwen, Bewolkte Luchten (Spanish Women, Cloudy Skies) by Martin Gaite, in case anyone was wondering.

Battersea Park (South Chelsea)

Another wine guy